Why Are there Tears?

"Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight." Albert Schweitzer
Having worked with kids for more than twenty five years, has given me insight into their hearts and thoughts. More than sixty-five percent of the kids in certain classrooms are emotionally abused daily. This abuse occurs from the hands of parents or step parents. When so many children are hurting, it is time to ask ourselves
why. Speaking for the children is important to me. Family life appears to be deteriorating. This has created a domino
effect. To fix society we must fix the schools. To fix the schools we must fix the child’s home environment. It is time to look at this dilemma with new eyes. We can’t fix it with the old way of thinking. Our challenge as parents is to look at the facts. We might promote an aggressive attempt at a new approach. Success comes from the love and nurturing at home. Society can’t reteach or rehabilitate broken children easily, or possibly ever,Against all odds, some children grow up in poor circumstances but rise to become superstars. The difference in their home environments was love, encouragement, and support from their parents, or another caring adult. The power of love has been greatly underestimated. Although we all love our children, demonstrating this with hard work is paramount. This means placing our children’s needs first, constant watchfulness, and guiding them with integrity and righteousness. Stopping the unconscious mistreatment of children is my goal. By stopping some harmful choices we make children improve emotionally and academically. It certainly is worth the determination for all of us to make an effort.
"Each day of our lives we can make deposits into the memory banks of our children." Charles Swindoll

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

SURVIVING OVERWHELMING DISAPPOINTMENT

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; Whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; Who strives valiantly; Who errs and comes short again and again; Who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause/who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly."

   When you feel overwhelmed like when your at the bottom of the barrel scraping your way out, adrenalin kicks in and animal instincts override. Those instincts ensure our safety and survival when we are in the wild and encounter dangerous situations. Defiance may  manifest when we are angry at someone and feel squashed by their intrusiveness. Immediately we go into high gear and deflate them with nasty retorts. It does make them back off but we have created probably more problems than we started with. Other times we may be on overload because of our many obligations.

We can decide how to prioritize duties but that doesn't matter. whatever we choose it gnaws at us for not picking another one. Truthfully no matter what we chose it would feel like it was a bad choice because we could not accomplish all of the tasks at once which is what we wanted to do in the first place. We set ourselves up to fail. We don't see it but we do. To add a bit of frosting to the cake we even lash out at others in our vicinity because we are so frustrated with ourselves and our inability to fulfill the workload.
 This is not just true of the  CEO but of anyone with a task to do. Mothers place the most burdens on themselves. They worry they have not spent enough time with their kids, not been gentle enough, read enough books, talked to them enough etc. This annoys them and then they lose their temper with their kids because they are already angry with themselves.  We struggle more with defiance than we do with anger. We become defiant and then angry and then fight with someone within range. How do we stop the buildup of our defiance? I suggest reflecting immediately. Observe the kids or co-workers without any emotional interactions, and make the decision with your clear and logical mind to plan a review later of these mounting responsibilities. It delays anger and anxiety. It keeps the animal instincts from overtaking the thinking mind. It spares others our wrath. Later we may realize it is okay to choose defiance when we are calm. Then we can easily say no to our child even if they hand us a temper tantrum which is their form of defiance. Suggest to the boss rebelliously and in your most subdued voice their is no way to meet the deadline they enforced. They will be surprised and maybe even more respectful of you for stating the  truth which they already knew.

Spouses can be irritating. Choose  to be defiant by simply walking away while suggesting you can save the fight for tomorrow. It works. Your spouse may think you are attempting humor but whatever diffuses the burdens of life is worth the effort of a solid attempt. Defiance and non conformity can work for the best if we understand when best to toss it into action. Human instincts monitored by our thinking brain are a better choice than those animal instincts aiding us in surviving our overpowering burdens.

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

THE POWER OF PRAYER

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain." BJ Gallagher/Mac Anderson

 I have been extremely busy with fear and worry. My daughter whose sons were one and two at the  time, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is doing fantastic now and will finish her infusions in May. She will have her reconstruction soon. She  and I and the rest of the family are embracing a full recovery and we attribute it to God and the power of prayer. As much as we all like to think of prayer as  hocus pocus, I have come to a full circle with God. I now know he is here walking beside me every step of the way. I am enlightened to be aware of his presence and glory and power. I believe in miracles and I thank God for my miracle. It has been a long grind which is hard to explain to anyone. It has been over a year since the nightmare began and it is only recently I have been able to say my daughter's name in the same sentence as the disease without a total meltdown.

All of us have someone we know in a similar situation. some are better and some are worse. It is really hard to put a measurement on love so I won't try. I don't blame those who run away from it or try to hide and ignore  it because after all if it were something contagious we would all be hiding. Nobody wants it to enter their lives in any  way or form. It entered mine a few times along  my life's way with two aunts, my sister, my mother-in-law brother cousins and friends. When it came to my daughter I was devastated to say the least. Somehow our kids are an extension of us and the better part of us. We spend a lifetime protecting them nurturing them even when they don't need it anymore. It is natural that their hurt is ours. At those times I felt like a ticking bomb waiting to explode as my silent tears dribbled down my cheeks hidden by glasses. I prayed to  God for her total recovery.

My daughter and I survived with God's help but the fear remains and I try to keep it at bay but sometimes it creeps in and on those days I pray. For those who don't understand that's  okay it is impossible to understand because your mind doesn't want to go  on that route for fear of jinxing yourself. It is okay, just about all of us would do the same in similar situations. It is good to attempt to be a comfort to those who need it. I know the number of angels who came to my daughter's support and thus to mine were angels in my book. Their efforts of time meals flowers and visits will never be underestimated.

 I know we can't always pay back to those who helped us but we can all pay it forward which my daughter has already started to do. Being a light for each other is what god wants. I know this in my heart. He doesn't want us to live in  fear and I am working on that one as is my daughter. Fear immobilizes and cripples the  present. We worry about things that may never come to pass. I know that I will have a strong faith when I can let go of my fears, give them to God and trust that all is well. If we let go and let God as I heard one person put it, we will be calm enough to do his work. It has been a roller coaster ride with so many turns up and down that it is hard to attempt to recall the explosiveness of the downs. We both came out of it with a deeper connection to God. You get refined when you walk through the fire. I ask for prayers for my daughter that she may raise her children and live a long life. When anyone asks "Can I do anything?" I always reply, "Please pray for my daughter." The power of prayer is a miracle.
"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."
May God Bless all of you. My Best
pam

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

CONSIDER WHAT COUNTS

"You give but little when you give of your own possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." Kahil Gibran

 We search for things all the time. We can never seem to get everything done by the end of the day. We think, maybe if I try harder tomorrow or give up some lunch time or get out earlier or  get up earlier etc. We're all lacking time yet we are not so worried about time. It's as if we want all their is in the amount of time we get in a day. If you ask a wife or a husband what they would like from their spouse it will most likely be time alone. Children ask and ask parents to watch, look listen help and play. On the worst day at work we might be thinking about when it is time to go home and see our loved ones. The key word is time yet we abuse it misuse it and waste it. When we get time we forget all the good thoughts we had about what is important in our lives and instead begin to focus on what we should or need  to do. So we have the problem what is the answer?

I think we need to focus on what we know is important. That is what we think about in our worst states of mind. People are what counts. One must begin thinking about people and how important they are to us.The sink, laundry, shopping housecleaning computer phone calls, texts and papers can literally wait. People should never have to place second to any of these devices swallowing up our time. If we lined them all up and were told to only choose one it is likely we would choose the  people we love. Yet we spend so much time doing all those other things. What never seems to get done is TIME with PEOPLE. It's never too late to change our habits. Put those you love first in your life. If you only have a limited time never cut it from your loved ones. You will find relationships stronger and connections to your children stronger to the point that you may not have the problems you  had with them when you didn't have time for them. Marriage problems lighten,  child issues get resolved quicker and somehow  when you go to bed at night you don't feel guilty that you didn't get to those other things. Because you have taken care of the main things in your life. Suddenly you might discover that your life appears to be flowing smoother and you wonder why. Maybe it is because you have chosen wisely in the way you decided to spend your time.

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." Albert Einstein

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Get Rid Of Regret Once And For All

Hi All
How much confusion we all create in our own lives through our thoughts, fears and jealousies. We sometimes we see things that are not really there, or interpret what is said or done in a way it was never meant to be interpreted. This causes pain and frustration in any relationship. Our anger takes over our reason and we make a situation worse than it originally was. Minds tend to wander and negatively impact spoken words and actions. Harsh words render the spirit crushed and mangled. Tempers flair as well as egos. We cut our spouse or sibling or in-law down to size and walk away triumphantly. Later we regret what we said and did. This scenario is played again day after day with various other people. It leaves us tense unsure and sometimes very confused about the path to follow. Changing our attitudes and cutting another person some slack as well as refraining from nasty retorts the next time might just alter a relationship.

"The degree of one's emotion varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts. The less one knows the hotter you get." Anonymous

All of us have our good days and bad. We have moments of insight and inspiration as well as times of defeat and roadblocks. What we can't do is displace our anger onto another person, on our down days. Don't let others cause you to become enraged. You always have the choice to depart or change the subject. We have our own power of free will and can alter the course of a losing situation. We don't walk in another 's shoes and can't comprehend what they feel or think. They also can't comprehend what we feel or think. Our experiences are varied as are our defeats and accomplishments. We can't judge another with our ruler of measurement any more than they can measure us with their ruler. Reflect deeply about what you say before you say it. At what cost will your disparaging remarks deplete the goodness in your heart?

"In marriage, with children, at work, in any association-an ounce of praise of sincere appreciation of some act or attribute, can very often do more than a tom of fault finding. If we look for it, we can usually find in even the most unlikely unlikable and incapable person, something to commend and encourage. Doubtless it is a human frailty. But most of us, in the glow of feeling we have pleased. want to do more to please and knowing we have done well want to do better." Anonymous

Remember, "speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret." Lawrence J. Peter

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me