Have CourageTo Stop, Sit, And Listen

"Reputation is what others think about you; character is what God knows about you. Adrian Rogers

Independence can mean different things to a variety of people. This liberty is vital and necessary. Regarding the MIL and DIL it allows one to accept help when one needs it and to refuse it when a person doesn't want aid. We all have capacities and talents. If we trust ourselves and have confidence, we recognize at times, the need to acquiesce to another so as not to decimate their independence. Even if certain ideas are more appealing or are proven to be better, silence may be our best ally. We can't push our ways onto another. We can be right and we can be wrong because we are independent of another. Security and confidence produces a kindness sprinkled with patience. We have nothing to prove. When we have the need to make a point or win an argument we are less confident full of anxiety due to our inner feelings of inadequacies. It doesn't mean we are lacking at all. It does exhibit a need for inner contemplation and a sense of questioning why we feel inferior. Being wrong is a learning experience and diminishes us in no way. Being right engages a moment of praise and nothing beyond. Pride can be more destructive in the long term than failure is in the short term. It may take courage to speak against the crowd but it really does take more courage to keep ourselves quiet and to listen. Tomorrow  is another day with more opportunities to show what we are. Reputation is others' opinion of you. God knows what we truly are. What do you think is more important?

"Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves are triumph and defeat." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Thoughtful Interactions Are Obligatory

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up."

Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law need to tread carefully when dealing with control versus diplomacy. Our needs obviously prioritize our choices. These choices should not suppress or deprive the necessities of others. Consideration of humanity obliges us to reflect on the needs and wants of others. Manipulation can be powerful in controlling another. Resolutions are attainable with reasoning and logic, as well as consideration of others. Final solutions do not guarantee complete satisfaction, but they  might feasibly assure understanding and placation. Using guilt as a tool to coerce your son/husband lowers his effectiveness, concentration, and production. Never forget, the man loves you both.

"The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious  of none." Thomas Carlyle
Remember,"You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crummy attitude." John Maxwell

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Many Reasons It's Good To Be Disliked

"Life has taught me that it is not for our faults that we are disliked and even hated, but for our qualities." Bernard berenson
It is a  quote worth digesting. There is more truth to these words than we would like to believe. Whenever one tries to act divinely, she is shot down because it makes others question her motives. It also makes others feel like they are less of a person. It's time to recognize our own uniqueness. If we are in the prescence of a kind person, it shouldn't demean us but raise us up. Each of us has the capacity to lift another. We can't always be in top form. Those times when we need help let us lean on another. Likewise when the other  person needs help, it is our turn to do the uplifting. We are not in any competition. We have never been in a contest. It really is okay to support each other, be happy for another's happiness, and exhibit empathy for another's sorrows. As they say, we're all in the soup together. At times MIL and DIL's need each other. If they remember they have  more in common, it will allow them to recognize a similar spirit in each other. Everyone one of us wakes up with less sleep than we wanted, more aches and pains and burdens that are almost beyond carrying. If we met a stranger who poured out their heaart about their loads and pressures, we would sympathize and come to the person's aid. We muse recognize the inner self of those close to us. Look hard and find something good in your MIL or DIL. Focus on that only. Skip dwelling on what you don't like.

"Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life? The Master said is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." Confucius

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Guilt's Power Is Stress Producing

Every day, when you wake up, think about all the wonderful things you should be thankful for. I am as guilty as anyone for finding issues that annoy me. I lose my patience too many times due to silly little things. After reflecting on this I realized I have so much happiness in my life. It occurred to me that it was time to dwell on the positive and let the negative flow out of the mind. In the scheme of things, most of the irritating issues are minor. People are major. If I alienate people I create added stress and anxiety to my life.  The next day I regret any harsh words I spoke. Of course I can’t explain why I spoke them. We all have such situations. Irritations build up as well as obligations. Our minds have trouble keeping everything straight. When some random or not so random person places the last straw on our backs we explode. This can be a mild explosion but if it creates disharmony, it is sad. Most of us want to get along but find it difficult when we are burdened with all of the pressures of life. We may at times believe we are carrying most of the load at home and or at work. We might also feel we are keeping friendships going and working hard for our families with little return. All I can say is that there really is return in the knowledge that you have been doing a successfully great job nurturing and caring for the family. We start in pre-school and end up passing high school and maybe college. We wonder at how we got there. It’s the same with life. When we work hard at something in the end the finished product makes us smile. The important thing is to know what is important and quit judging the items that don’t really matter. Relax and get along. Life is easier, more comforting and filled with more people who care and support you. As they say live love laugh and I say forgive and definitely forget. Count your blessings.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Get Rid Of Regret Once And For All

Hi All
How much confusion we all create in our own lives through our thoughts, fears and jealousies. We sometimes we see things that are not really there, or interpret what is said or done in a way it was never meant to be interpreted. This causes pain and frustration in any relationship. Our anger takes over our reason and we make a situation worse than it originally was. Minds tend to wander and negatively impact spoken words and actions. Harsh words render the spirit crushed and mangled. Tempers flair as well as egos. We cut our spouse or sibling or in-law down to size and walk away triumphantly. Later we regret what we said and did. This scenario is played again day after day with various other people. It leaves us tense unsure and sometimes very confused about the path to follow. Changing our attitudes and cutting another person some slack as well as refraining from nasty retorts the next time might just alter a relationship.

"The degree of one's emotion varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts. The less one knows the hotter you get." Anonymous

All of us have our good days and bad. We have moments of insight and inspiration as well as times of defeat and roadblocks. What we can't do is displace our anger onto another person, on our down days. Don't let others cause you to become enraged. You always have the choice to depart or change the subject. We have our own power of free will and can alter the course of a losing situation. We don't walk in another 's shoes and can't comprehend what they feel or think. They also can't comprehend what we feel or think. Our experiences are varied as are our defeats and accomplishments. We can't judge another with our ruler of measurement any more than they can measure us with their ruler. Reflect deeply about what you say before you say it. At what cost will your disparaging remarks deplete the goodness in your heart?

"In marriage, with children, at work, in any association-an ounce of praise of sincere appreciation of some act or attribute, can very often do more than a tom of fault finding. If we look for it, we can usually find in even the most unlikely unlikable and incapable person, something to commend and encourage. Doubtless it is a human frailty. But most of us, in the glow of feeling we have pleased. want to do more to please and knowing we have done well want to do better." Anonymous

Remember, "speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret." Lawrence J. Peter

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

The Give And Take In Any Relationship

Hi all
If you have any thoughts you would like  to share I'd love to hear them. I spent some time with my DILs over the weekend. I really appreciate the time and effort they  give to me. I feel like I have increased my support group. I know they are pleased when I can help out with babysitting. I believe it is always a give and take in any relationship. There are times when we think we are giving 95%. We might just be right about that. Just wait a little bit and you will discover you are in need of the 95% and the tables turn. I don't believe in keeping track of kind deeds. When we care we don't keep a tally. My philosophy is if I can do something for someone I do it, no strings attached. Whenever I am the recipient of a kind deed I consider myself fortunate, but I don't ever feel that I must reciprocate. It is easier for us to get along with friends because we never expect them to do anything. We are pleased when they do something for us. With family we expect so much and we are disappointed when it doesn't happen. Time to appreciate any small nice service done for us. Time to think about doing something for others without expecting a return. This will please all of us tremendously, and disappoint nobody. 


"The greatest tragedy in America is not the great waste of natural resources- though this is traagic; the biggest tragedy is the waste of human resources because the average person goes to his grave with his music still in him." Oliver Wendell Holmes

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me

Do Something Difficult; Calmly Face The Problem

It is easy to give up, get angry and walk away from a difficult situation. It takes courage and strength of character to face it and make it better.

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it?" Marcus Aurelius
"We can't choose our relatives, but we can choose our thoughts-which influence us much more" Anonymous

Visit my new blog  >>>  blog.pamreynolds.me