Have CourageTo Stop, Sit, And Listen

"Reputation is what others think about you; character is what God knows about you. Adrian Rogers

Independence can mean different things to a variety of people. This liberty is vital and necessary. Regarding the MIL and DIL it allows one to accept help when one needs it and to refuse it when a person doesn't want aid. We all have capacities and talents. If we trust ourselves and have confidence, we recognize at times, the need to acquiesce to another so as not to decimate their independence. Even if certain ideas are more appealing or are proven to be better, silence may be our best ally. We can't push our ways onto another. We can be right and we can be wrong because we are independent of another. Security and confidence produces a kindness sprinkled with patience. We have nothing to prove. When we have the need to make a point or win an argument we are less confident full of anxiety due to our inner feelings of inadequacies. It doesn't mean we are lacking at all. It does exhibit a need for inner contemplation and a sense of questioning why we feel inferior. Being wrong is a learning experience and diminishes us in no way. Being right engages a moment of praise and nothing beyond. Pride can be more destructive in the long term than failure is in the short term. It may take courage to speak against the crowd but it really does take more courage to keep ourselves quiet and to listen. Tomorrow  is another day with more opportunities to show what we are. Reputation is others' opinion of you. God knows what we truly are. What do you think is more important?

"Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves are triumph and defeat." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Always Question Assumptions

When viewing an issue from another perspective, we are given the opportunity to assimilate that viewpoint, and accommodate it through the eyes of our own experience. Each individual's circumstance is distinct. Each situation is likely to be distinct in certain circumstances, yet universal in other respects. More reflection leads to questioning assumptions. The Mother-in-Law Daughter-In-Law is a universal dilemma. It is an unintentionally significant relationship. It requires patience time effort and reflection. Jealousies need to be set aside. Control must be loosened and dropped altogether. judgments have to be rescinded. Compromise and tolerance is necessary. The relationship can be an evolving dream or nightmare. It really is up to the two women involved. Husband must refrain from involving their mothers in discussions and arguments. The  girl's mother must refrain from dumping guilt on her daughter every time she spends a happy time with her Mother-in-Law. Mothers-in-law should provide  space, acceptance of the amount of time she receives, and she must give her son wings to fly in his own direction, making his own decisions. His wife's mother must really do the same. Jealousy is common but can be overcome. Control can be released and power to live one's own life, is exhilarating. We can share in the lives of other people without overshadowing them. Stepping too far leaves us beyond the gate. Sharing within bounds allows us inspirational moments of time to add to our cherished memory banks.

"Real education should educate us out of  self,  into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity." Nancy Astor

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