ARROGANCE ALWAYS SUCCUMBS TO HUMILITY

"The one-a-day  vitamin for the soul is helping another  person." Stephen Post
The other day someone asked me about my definition of humility. That was tough. I thought and thought  for days and  kept trying to come up with something that made sense to me. I know what it isn't but it is hard to describe what it is. When you get a compliment don't say I never really do look this good, or this dress has been hanging in  my closet for twenty years. That is not humility as some of us might think. It almost seems the opposite. A simple thank you is enough. At times people really do mean it and other times they want to be nice so either way it is a complement. Humility is not taking the last piece or end piece or constantly letting others take our place. That is more of a martyr type. People notice martyrs but they don't notice someone who is humble. I had the notion a humble person was a wilting flower. To the contrary I discovered a person of humility has learned to let go be themselves having a quiet confidence and  understanding that in the end winning and losing doesn't count. Life is truly simple when we peel all of the layers back. Life is about lessons of the heart. When we are not forgiven we learn how important forgiveness is. When we have felt inferior we learn the importance or respecting everyone's individuality. We are basically on the road to humility. In life there are never any winners, losers, superiors or inferiors. We can feel that way ourselves or allow others to  make us feel that way. Taking control of ourselves and our own lives is about confidence and humility. We are safe in the knowledge that we are learning with the heart and open to the vibrational feelings of others and ourselves. At that point we come to terms with everyone's feelings of inadequacy. Humility is a step above those feelings because when you are humble you are flaunting respect for everyone's journey and are willing to boost all that you can along the way as well as accepting of the help from others. That is my take of humility. The will to trek towards a greater awareness beyond what we see.
"Today see if you can stretch your heart and expand your love so that it touches not only those to whom you can give it easily but also to those who need it so much." Daphne Rose Kingma

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THE EFFECTIVENESS OF COMPLIMENTS

"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worht. Each of us has something to give that no one else has." Elizabeth O'Connor


A person relishes promising comments and praise of their child or themselves. This helps to create bonds of friendship and goodwill with your siblings-in-law. The end result likely is an ally and a pal you can confide in. Compliments stimulate greater achievement. They also place negativity into the background where it belongs. Seeing a gas tank half full instead of half empty encourages one to continue forward rather than stopping or worse backing up. If we feel better when we hang out with certain people, it makes us want to hang out with them all the more or at the very least we look forward to a sharing time with them. competition is a start to jealousy and envy. If we don't measure up it leaves us angry and or defeated. We might also resent the other person or want to beat them at something. If we thought long and hard about the negative energy it took us to calm down we would skip it I'm sure. The alternative is to let it eat away at our stamina and nerves and contribute to health problems. At times we create our own dilemma. When we get up in  the morning, do we see the same person as the day before? We haven't changed. We are special unique and one of a kind. We have qualities no one else has. We  do things to help others we might not even know that we did. Any interaction with another person might offer more to that person than we will ever find out. If we were not the to wait on them or help them or greet them, they might never have been lifted out of their depressing mood. When we help others we help ourselves. We can all start with out own families and friends. Why make life more difficult by causing more strife. One compliment can carry a person further than a feather dropped from a high building on a windy day. Enjoy the compliments  others give to you and don't be stingy with your compliments.

"In marriage, with children at work, in any association-an ounce of praise of sincere appreciation of some act or attribute can very often do more than a ton of fault-finding. If we look for it we can usually find in even the most unlikely unlikable and incapable person something to commend and encourage. Doubtless it is a human frailty but most of us in the glow of feeling we have pleased
want to do more to please and knowing we have done well want to do better." Anonymous

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Avoid Holiday Problems

"People love others not  for what hey are, but for how they make us feel."  Irwin Federman

Hi
Mothers-in-law who encourage any type of competition might possibly find it can influence the closeness of their children. The result may be a competitive relationship amongst their children. Downplaying competitive behavior allows for a more supportive kind of connection to develop. None of us will discuss our  mistakes or trials to another person that we view as a competitor rather than a supporter. We then lose the chance of gaining support and encouragement. Losing  does not always spur a person to try harder. Many times it makes us to recoil and give up. Spending time  with relatives becomes tedious and stressful. If we support one another we are happy to see each other and look forward to helpful discourse. Parents should begin  right from the beginning wih their children to make an effort of refraining from comparisons of  any kind including who walked talked and toilet trained first. After all we are looking for harmony joy and pleasant rewarding and memorable times together as children and adults.


"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."  Albert Schweitzer

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