Stepphanie loved to cook. Her MIL hated to cook. Often Steph invited her MIL to dinner because she enjoyed how much her MIL appreciated good food. Her MIL, Karen especially loved and would comment on Steph's bread. One holiday Steph decided to buy a bread machine for her MIL. She could hardly wait for her MIL to open the gift. Upon opening the gift, her MIL was extremely dissappointed and appeared to be offended. Her MIL just stated Steph should keep the machine or return it because it wasn't something she would use. Steph was now offended herself and the once strong bond of affection was strained. Both women retreated to their own thoughts.
After a few days they talked. Karen said she understood that Steph would like her to start making her own bread so she didn't depend on Steph's invitations to dinner. Karen also explained that Steph should understand how much she hated to cook and would thus never use the machine.
Steph stated that she knew how much Karen loved homemade bread and she wanted her MIL to enjoy it whenever she wanted without waiting for an invitation to dinner from Steph. Stephanie also explained that she was aware how much Karen hated to cook and she thought the machine was a compromise. It wasn't like homemade bread but it was better than store bought bread. Steph finished with how the machine was easy to use.
Both women were so surprised at the confusion the gift had caused. Don't measure the gift in terms of love. Many husbands have royally failed. One of my husband's first gifts to me was a recipe card holder. I have told him many times he was lucky I went through with marrying him.
It will help at holiday time to think about the gifts of time that others have given. It is a much more valuable gift, and besides, isn't love unconditional?
"That best prtion of the good man's life- his little namelessness, unremembered acts of kindness and of love." Wadsworth
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