How To Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

"Using guilt as a tool to coerce your son or husband diminishes growth in relationships. Your son/husband possesses the capacity to love both his wife and his mother."

I was at a park the other day and overheard a DIL ripping her father-in-law to shreds. Her acquaitence appeared to be the unwilling victim as she tried to diminish every incident the woman discussed. In between her anger the angry woman mentioned that she was at the moment living with her in-laws because she was having a house built. She also mentioned that she'd lived with them before when pregnant with her,  first child because of the painting being done at her house. In all of this it never occurred to her that the house of her in-law's had been opened to her  and her husband and their two children for as long as they needed. Her MIL was barely mentioned which I would say was a good thing. If we only see our side of any situation, we will never find the truth. It's never easy to live with anyone without having some disagreements from time to time. Living with ones' in-laws may open a can of worms. On the other hand one must observe the situation in its entirety. If you are saving money, time aggravation, you are well ahead of the situation. To accept with dignity, the small irritations which only become huge when one dwells on them too long, is a necessity. The  rewards outweigh the minor failings. I say this all the time, but put yourself in another's shoes. The in-laws may not be relishing the situation any more than you are and to boot, they are not gaining any appreciation in the matter. Most likely they are doing it becasue they love their son and his family. It doesn't mean they are  not totally inconvenienced themselves. Making the best of a situation as well as perceiving the gains and benefits to our children and family in general will cancel out problems. Life is made easier when we come to realize the world is not about me. There is a world of me's. Look for the positive and be happy or see only the negative and be miserable. The choice is always our own. What will you choose today?

"The core jproblem is not that we are too passionate about bad things, but that we are not passionate enough about good things." Larry Crabb

"Gratitude conserves the vital energies of a person  more than any other attitude tested." Hans Selve

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