FIND SERENITY IN THE MORAL STRUGGLE

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite  direction." Albert Einstein

We all have varying degrees of flexibility. As children, most of us exhibit lots of flexibility. As soon as a friend calls we are out the door. Growth and maturity appears to dampen our willingness to bend or stretch in different ways. If we think about this situation, we realize the sadness of our plight. We may be free in body but our minds and thinking become more and more enslaved until we perform our duties ritualistically.

We must call our parents, water the plants, clean the house, get a recipe for dinner that will impress our friends, find the right clothes for the right look etc. In all of this commotion have we thought what we are doing and if we are truly living or simply surviving? Reflect on how much love is given to us unconditionally by our parents. Ponder the living plants and the awesome beauty they bestow on us. House cleaning is overrated as much as connecting with people are underrated. Fabulous meals have more to do with the companionship we have with those who share the meal with us.

 Duty and ego have replaced love and affection. When we visit others we look back and recall the great conversations and spirited mood we enjoyed with them. We don’t even think about the manicured yard or neatly picked up house. Maybe it is time to reflect on our inner human focus rather than the outer peripheral nonsense. We would most likely save ourselves time and money.

We all love artistic beauty but not at the expense of the beauty we find in each other. Less time spent on silly jobs leaves us with more energy to give to the important things in life. Our priorities perhaps are messed up at the moment. As children we knew what counted. As adults we get lost. If we keep cluttering our minds with jobs that are really unimportant, we will miss doing what counts.

It is more important to spend time talking to your child than it is to mow your lawn. I watched two dads in two situations dealing with their children while they were working in the yard. Both children were two years old at the time. One dad screamed at his toddler for digging in an area where he had recently planted some gorgeous flowers. The child went screaming and crying alone, into a corner of the yard. I wondered as I observed, what had he just taught his child.

Another father in an adjacent lot had finished planting a row of various colored flowers. He stopped to take a long drink of water when his young son was standing in front of him with a fistful of flowers. They were a beautiful bouquet. His young son said as he shoved the flowers into his father’s hands, “I love you da”. I watched for the dad’s reaction. He was surprised when he realized they were the newly purchased and just planted flowers. The dad immediately scooped his son into his arms and hugged him tightly as he said “I love you too and thanks for the flowers.” Somehow I believe those flowers meant so much more in the dad’s mind and heart than they could ever mean to any observer who chanced to walk by them growing in the ground.

Children are a gift from God. Love them and tell them so every day. Recognize your obligation to them by respecting and nurturing them. If you are rough in your speech, or actions towards them especially regarding discipline, rethink and alter your behaviors and habits. Children can teach us to be spontaneous and how to recapture our love of living. They remind us to be flexible because when we are flexible our disappointment and anger decreases while our love and awareness increases.

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend. They shall never be broken." Albert Camus

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Happiness

“Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.” Rabbi Harold Kushner

So many of us seek happiness and no matter how much money power or fame we achieve, it eludes us. Money can make our lives complicated. We purchase more material objects with our money and they break down and need to be fixed. We buy more tickets to movies, theatres, and traveling places and it basically eats up our time and energy. It isn’t that we don’t enjoy our money or the places we visit. We find ourselves sitting in a chair the next day wondering why we don’t have a big smile on our faces and brimming over with happiness. Instead we are exhausted and want to spend time alone.

Sometimes we strive to spend more time with others we care about, but they are so busy, they have little time to give us. This can make us feel unimportant to them. Searching inward we come to terms with the notion they don’t care about us as much as we care about them. It isn’t a good feeling and it doesn’t bring any happiness. We make new friends, join more groups or clubs, change our hair style, and buy new clothes and attempt to change our mindsets. Many times we end up alone and wondering what we did wrong and why are we unlikable.  The more we do for others, the less they reciprocate. When we need a friend we can’t find one. At times we think we have a giant target on our backs that says deplete me it’s okay. Others appear to have it all together. Maybe if we had more money or a better job or good friends or lived closer to family, things would be different.

We become more introverted and negative. We have little to say to others and they respond with quick retorts. Hasty responses begin to arise and we become consumed with feeling sorry for ourselves. Being so caught up in this state of mind, we completely ignore those standing beside us. We are after all suffering so much more than they are. The tunnel is dark and gloomy. We can’t find our way out. There is no one willing to help. Inadequacy in everything we get involved with is the norm.

Happiness has little to do with money, fame or friends. It truly is what we lite inside us. There is no measurement for fame. Maybe we are the hero in a young child’s eyes, or the one friend always depended upon by another. We may be the example of what a good neighbor is or the example to a stranger of what a kind person looks like. If we are constantly caught up in our own shortcomings and woes, we are unaware of what’s going on around us. So much is happening in front of us that we need to stop turning inward and look outward. We are missing so much of life if we don’t.

Some people who have more than enough money are not a bit happy. Some people with little money couldn’t be happier. Observe the dynamics of this situation. Happiness comes from our frame of mind and possibly from the parameters we set. If we believe we must have a certain amount of money to be happy or certain material gains then those become our restrictions for happiness. Break down the parameters and you allow yourself to be happy. If we feel we need to travel to faraway places to find happiness then again those are the restrictions. Tear them down and you can find pleasure walking in your neighborhood and chatting with the neighbors. When a person believes they would be more appealing if they had a better figure or fancier clothes, they have set their guidelines. Rip up the guidelines and really let the real you shine. Your personality is what gathers attention. Your clothes and figure get the first look but they cannot sustain a grumpy attitude. Suffice it to say you can start an exercise regime to help with the weight.

Happiness is not necessarily about being around those we love best in the world. It can be about loving those we are with. The secret to happiness has to do with Contentment with who we are and what we have. Contentment is the key word. That is what powers happiness. If we are content, we will be happy and we will be tuned into others and the world at large. Contented people come from all walks of life and from all economic levels. It is when you own the objects but they don’t own you. You can find pleasure in others and not limit yourself to a chosen few. If you limit yourself then you have shut out a multitude of people and you basically become a snob and a prejudiced person. Only those you have approved of can be your friends or be close to you.

When so many people are searching for love and acceptance it appears to be apparent that there are a lot of caring people looking for friendship. Don’t limit yourself or your power to love and be loved. We all really experience the same doubts, problems and fears. Just about all of us cover them up because we don’t want to display our weaknesses. None of us wants to appear vulnerable. Begin today to feel cheerful inside. Start with counting your positive good blessings. When you begin mulling this over, I would be surprised if a smile was not forming. Don’t let that smile or good feeling evaporate. Remember to begin each day reviewing what you should be thankful for. You will already be full of contentment and things can only get better.

“Happiness is the art of making a bouquet of those flowers within reach.” Anonymous

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