“Divide the fire and you will soon put it out.” Greek
Proverb
The competition starts before we are even aware. We begin
the competition from the day we are born. Parents actually set up the first rivalry.
Babies are judged by who is longer or bigger at birth. It continues with when a
baby walks talk’s train’s counts and manipulates articles. Parents may refuse
to believe they are remotely in any race but the reality of the matter is from
babyhood through adulthood we are programmed to compete.
When we
compete we set the stage for a winner and so there must be at least one or more
losers. Has anyone proven that there are laurels in keeping down whole food at
the youngest possible age? Does walking at ten months make one more special
than walking at eighteen months? Is bigger better really? If we answer no but
still discuss our child’s size then we are a hypocrite. Think for a minute. No
one goes around saying my child is in the ten percent in height and weight. My
child walked later than most children. Seriously, if we set parameters all the
time, there will be those that surpass them and those that will simply fail. The
question is if it is worth out time and effort.
Jumping
further into the future we struggle with school work and the best speakers,
writers and math stars. If a child does poorly we begin stressing his or her
sports ability. Suddenly we are giving up on school work and in the process
brainwashing our child into believing they don’t have the ability to be
successful in school. How detrimental it is to discover our realities
manifesting due to our own making.
The same
is true of the scholar who is believed to be only good at school work. They come
to believe they have no athletic capabilities. When this happens we are not
allowing our children to be all that they can be and more. It boils down to
competition. We forget the possibility with training the poor athlete may get
better or the poor scholar may find his or her niche and discover the cure for
a disease. This is not as crazy as it might seem. The crazy part believes we
can peg any person into a certain whole and leave them there.
Grandparents
may help in this competition. They begin comparing grandchildren by saying this
one will be great in school and this one will be getting an athletic
scholarship. This sounds so silly. The children are perhaps toddlers. What
happened to the goals of kindness and caring as well as empathy and selflessness?
Maybe it is time to reflect on the altruistic attributes. Children will display what we expect of them. If
we expect our child to mess up in high school because that is what teens do
then that is what our kids will do. They return to us what we believe. Don’t
expect your son or daughter to party through college and just possibly they won’t.
Parents
pit their children against each other every time they compare them. One year in
time may find one child with more strength or endurance while another is
lacking. It is not necessary to point this out. It is also not necessary to
push the child in need to be the same. It is okay to be different. We are not
all the same but we all are important and unique. Forcing everyone to love
music, dance, sports, book learning or anything else is foolish. Yes we all
need to learn and become educated but we can’t force a love of math or science.
We can’t force the stamina to work out for an athletic endeavor.
Siblings
can be close friends if parents allow them to simply be themselves. Love your
children. That is the only requirement of parenthood that will make all the
difference in the world. Others can and will influence your children along the
way but at that point, given the firm foundation parents have created ought to
maintain them and allow them to weather any questionable time in life. If
siblings compete, their brother or sister becomes the enemy.
Sometimes
we might have the ability but not the interest to pursue certain athletic or
educational goals. Other times the
timing is not yet right for us. Being a good person first is what we should be
striving for. In the end we will find our way. The uttermost person at the top
with the best idea cannot always make it happen without those working with him
or her to attain the goal. Without all of us the finest thoughts can be laid to
rest.
After
all of our growing years are over, the end result is an adult ready to face the
struggles of the real world competition. It is sad to find people pitted
against each other rather than working together. The fastest worker gets the
raise. The best personality befriends the boss. The schmoozer secures his job. The
book learned person keeps ahead of the masses. One wonders about the true identity
of anyone. We may want to ask the real person to stand up.
Our
importance does not depend on our pushing someone beneath us. It depends on how
many people we lift up as equals to us. The baby test needs to be rewritten or
dumped altogether. It is time to help each other rather than hurt each other. Children
shouldn’t have to begin life believing they are less than others. We need to
love them as they are and have faith and belief in them. When anyone receives
love they have the ability to bounce it back to others. The more love received,
the more love bounced and spread around to others. It will leave us all with
only one goal. The goal will be to manifest as much love as we can so that
wherever we look we will find it.
“The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.” F. H.
Bradley
“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” Tuli Kupferberg
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