"Education is an admirable thing but, it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." Oscar Wilde
Manners is more than please and thank you although it is nice to be at the receiving end of a thank you. In order to have real manners one needs to extend empathy, compassion and awareness of others. If one cares about another and feels for their situation then one jumps in to lighten their load. For instance, if you see a pregnant woman on the bus who doesn't have a seat, then you might give up yours. Someone with a tremendous amount of bundles might inspire you to hold open a door. Manners almost becomes innate if a person has been taught to have a regard for other people. When we respect others we respect their presence and their time. We would never insult them by texting while we are engaged in a conversation with them. Likewise we would never be on a phone while they are trying to wait on us in a store. If a person was kind enough to help us pick up items we dropped on a street, we would be very thankful and our words would display this thanks.
Having manners is not something one can truly teach unless one teaches a person or child compassion, caring, empathy and an awareness of being a part of a whole. The world is more than us. The world does not revolve around just us. As much as parents want to praise their children and rightly so, build up their confidence, absolutely, they still must add compassion and empathy for others. We may think our children are the greatest, smartest, the best athletes, prettiest, handsomest and any other attributes we might add. That is okay but remember that every parent is thinking the same thing. You are not alone. Do any of us say to another, "Your child is so much smarter than mine." If you get the point then carry this one step further and teach your child to be the most caring, thoughtful, empathetic, trustworthy, gracious and responsible child that they can be. What a world if this happened. We would do away with jealousy because we would be thinking about another's needs instead of our own. We would do away with envy because it would not be important to us in the scheme of things. We would do away with competition because we would not want to hurt another. A new world of true humanity would be created. It would not be a world that loved only those that loved us back. That is so easy to do. It would be total compassion for others. That really should be what we are striving for. If you want to teach manners, teach compassion, empathy, understanding, honesty, responsibility and awareness of others. My top two are compassion and awareness. You will then have learned what real manners are.
"Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity." Nancy Astor
"Where there is a human being there is an opportunity for kindness." Seneca
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